How appropriate that my blog post immediately following my ode to Moose Munch is one about losing weight! Who ate too much crap this holiday season? *Waving hand wildly* Me me me! I did! Then I ended up on film (it's a hazard of having a cute kid - people are always taking photos and sometimes you just aren't quick enough to get out of the shot) and I'm really not digging this doughy white blobbish look I've got going on. Not digging it at all.
How I wish with all my little heart that I could subsist off cigarettes, Diet Coke and air like the supermodels do. For one thing though, I absolutely cannot do so. I need food. That you chew. That tastes good. And I can't smoke because I have asthma. So that idea is out. Bulimia is a no go too, because I really hate to barf. Surgery? Nah. Again, I don't like barfing - and I like pain even less. How about diet drugs, you may ask? And how do YOU like greasy farts and holes in your heart, I ask? (Hey, that rhymed! We could make a song!)
Anyway, so this leaves me back where I always end up when contemplating this issue: I need to eat less. And get off my fat butt more often. Aw, hell.
It's such a cliche' to make losing weight your New Year's resolution though. Boring! Let's call it de-blobbing. Or maybe un-doughy-nessing? Photogenic-making? I'm open to suggestions - name my resolution!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Ode to Moose Munch
Harry & David make a delightful thing called Moose Munch.
Some wonderful, sweet client at the animal hospital where I work brought some to us for the holidays. I love it. I love them. I love everybody. Chocolate and caramel can have that effect on me.
I went to their website, ya know, to stock up in case there's a food shortage like Glenn Beck says. As long as I have plenty of this stuff, I'm pretty sure I could handle going off the grid. While other people are eating mystery meat from a can and dirt or whatever GB says we'll be reduced to, I'll be in Moose Munch heaven.
And then I saw it... They make Moose Munch Cheesecake. Oh. My. God. That would cover, like, all of my important food groups - protein (nuts), carbs (caramel), dairy (cheesecake) and of course, CHOCOLATE. I was so all over it til I saw it costs $30.
I love Moose Munch, and I love cheesecake, but I have limits. Clearly not healthy eating sorts of limits - but financial limits I do have (mostly because we're brrrrroke, not because I have any great self-control). Oh well.
Some wonderful, sweet client at the animal hospital where I work brought some to us for the holidays. I love it. I love them. I love everybody. Chocolate and caramel can have that effect on me.
I went to their website, ya know, to stock up in case there's a food shortage like Glenn Beck says. As long as I have plenty of this stuff, I'm pretty sure I could handle going off the grid. While other people are eating mystery meat from a can and dirt or whatever GB says we'll be reduced to, I'll be in Moose Munch heaven.
And then I saw it... They make Moose Munch Cheesecake. Oh. My. God. That would cover, like, all of my important food groups - protein (nuts), carbs (caramel), dairy (cheesecake) and of course, CHOCOLATE. I was so all over it til I saw it costs $30.
I love Moose Munch, and I love cheesecake, but I have limits. Clearly not healthy eating sorts of limits - but financial limits I do have (mostly because we're brrrrroke, not because I have any great self-control). Oh well.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Going...Going...Gone!
My mind, that is.
There are so many things to do. So many. I try to prioritize, but almost all of them are pretty important. And I absolutely do not know how to ask for help. Did you ever see that movie with Sandra Bullock, 28 Days? She's in rehab, ends up on crutches from a failed escape attempt and the therapist makes her wear a sign around her neck that says something like, "Ask me if I need help." Okay, so it took a long time to get to the point, but the point is - that could be me. Minus the drinking problem - though some days I think it might be helpful if I developed one of those.
The hub is sick. He works retail and it's the week of Christmas, so the timing is really bad. He's allergic to something - maybe dust mites, maybe just life in general - and he's been breaking out in hives and having a hell of a time breathing. He's been seeing an allergist who put him on massive doses of steroids, along with a cocktail of other drugs. The hives are better. The asthma is too, but only slightly. He's pretty miserable. And, being "organizationally challenged", he can't keep track of all these meds by himself. So, I've been trying to do it for him. And worrying about him. And doing everything else around here because he's pretty much incapacitated after he struggles through the day at work.
Then there's the whole breastfeeding thing. I'm determined to make it to at least a year breastfeeding the Bean. When I get determined to do something, anyone who knows me will tell you it takes... Well, I'm too damn tired to come up with a snappy metaphor right now, but suffice it to say I'm one stubborn lady. Anyway. My milk supply has been dwindling (at least the amount I'm able to pump when I'm at work - Beanie still seems content when she nurses) - so I've been "power pumping" to try to build it back up. This involves pumping for at least 5 minutes after each feeding - while trying to entertain a 9 month old crawling baby and keep her from eating lamp cords and whatnot. Picture it. Double breast pump attached to boobs. Chasing crawling baby. You're laughing, aren't you? Yeah, me too - it's that or scream. I've been drinking enough water to float an ocean liner and eating oatmeal with brewer's yeast til I gag too.
And it's going to be Christmas in a few days. I find myself responsible this year for orchestrating the family Christmas gathering on the Eve. My aunt who usually did it after Grandma died moved to North Carolina over the summer, and I think somehow I may have accidentally volunteered. Or someone volunteered me. I'm not sure which. I just want to know why so many people I love end up moving to North Carolina? And who ever said I know the first thing about entertaining?
I had myself a good, loud, snotty cry the other day though, while Josie took her nap. It wasn't pretty, but it got the job done. I think I'm going to make it.
There are so many things to do. So many. I try to prioritize, but almost all of them are pretty important. And I absolutely do not know how to ask for help. Did you ever see that movie with Sandra Bullock, 28 Days? She's in rehab, ends up on crutches from a failed escape attempt and the therapist makes her wear a sign around her neck that says something like, "Ask me if I need help." Okay, so it took a long time to get to the point, but the point is - that could be me. Minus the drinking problem - though some days I think it might be helpful if I developed one of those.
The hub is sick. He works retail and it's the week of Christmas, so the timing is really bad. He's allergic to something - maybe dust mites, maybe just life in general - and he's been breaking out in hives and having a hell of a time breathing. He's been seeing an allergist who put him on massive doses of steroids, along with a cocktail of other drugs. The hives are better. The asthma is too, but only slightly. He's pretty miserable. And, being "organizationally challenged", he can't keep track of all these meds by himself. So, I've been trying to do it for him. And worrying about him. And doing everything else around here because he's pretty much incapacitated after he struggles through the day at work.
Then there's the whole breastfeeding thing. I'm determined to make it to at least a year breastfeeding the Bean. When I get determined to do something, anyone who knows me will tell you it takes... Well, I'm too damn tired to come up with a snappy metaphor right now, but suffice it to say I'm one stubborn lady. Anyway. My milk supply has been dwindling (at least the amount I'm able to pump when I'm at work - Beanie still seems content when she nurses) - so I've been "power pumping" to try to build it back up. This involves pumping for at least 5 minutes after each feeding - while trying to entertain a 9 month old crawling baby and keep her from eating lamp cords and whatnot. Picture it. Double breast pump attached to boobs. Chasing crawling baby. You're laughing, aren't you? Yeah, me too - it's that or scream. I've been drinking enough water to float an ocean liner and eating oatmeal with brewer's yeast til I gag too.
And it's going to be Christmas in a few days. I find myself responsible this year for orchestrating the family Christmas gathering on the Eve. My aunt who usually did it after Grandma died moved to North Carolina over the summer, and I think somehow I may have accidentally volunteered. Or someone volunteered me. I'm not sure which. I just want to know why so many people I love end up moving to North Carolina? And who ever said I know the first thing about entertaining?
I had myself a good, loud, snotty cry the other day though, while Josie took her nap. It wasn't pretty, but it got the job done. I think I'm going to make it.
5 Months
I wrote this back when my little 9 month old girl was just 5 months - but apparently I forgot to publish it. So... here it is, 4 months late! lol
Josie is 5 months old today. I can't believe it. On one hand, it feels as though she's been a part of my life forever, for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine life without her, without knowing her, without her always on my mind on some level, without loving her. Then on the other hand, it seems just yesterday we were staring in joyful terror at the positive pregnancy test, or drifting through that surreal sleep-deprived emotional/hormonal roller-coaster time in the hospital after she was born. Wow. Just...wow.
At 5 months, Josie my little Bean, you are:
-Blowing raspberries continuously because you think it's the greatest joke ever - and belly-laughing til you choke on all the drool - then laughing more over that.
-Sitting up all by yourself! Everyone says it's early, but you're right on schedule for YOU so who cares about early or late? Life's not a race, kiddo. (Unless it really is, you know, like track and field - then run like heck in that case.)
-Sometimes forgetting that nothing is holding you up when you're sitting by yourself, and toppling over. We're careful to avoid hard surfaces, so you think this is almost as hilarious as blowing raspberries. Almost. More belly-laughing ensues.
-The life of any party. Daddy calls you a celebrity because wherever we take you, you attract attention and have "fans". You've never met a stranger, and you're always so happy and smiley and excited about everything that people can't help but watch you and laugh.
Josie is 5 months old today. I can't believe it. On one hand, it feels as though she's been a part of my life forever, for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine life without her, without knowing her, without her always on my mind on some level, without loving her. Then on the other hand, it seems just yesterday we were staring in joyful terror at the positive pregnancy test, or drifting through that surreal sleep-deprived emotional/hormonal roller-coaster time in the hospital after she was born. Wow. Just...wow.
At 5 months, Josie my little Bean, you are:
-Blowing raspberries continuously because you think it's the greatest joke ever - and belly-laughing til you choke on all the drool - then laughing more over that.
-Sitting up all by yourself! Everyone says it's early, but you're right on schedule for YOU so who cares about early or late? Life's not a race, kiddo. (Unless it really is, you know, like track and field - then run like heck in that case.)
-Sometimes forgetting that nothing is holding you up when you're sitting by yourself, and toppling over. We're careful to avoid hard surfaces, so you think this is almost as hilarious as blowing raspberries. Almost. More belly-laughing ensues.
-The life of any party. Daddy calls you a celebrity because wherever we take you, you attract attention and have "fans". You've never met a stranger, and you're always so happy and smiley and excited about everything that people can't help but watch you and laugh.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
It's the Little Things
I'm overdue for a positive blog post, so... The little things that just toast my tuna sandwich...in no particular order.
Josie claps when I walk into a room, even if I've only been gone for 30 seconds. She also claps for the Baby Einstein video and the dog and the server when we go out to eat, but it still makes me feel special.
It's completely pointless, but the little virtual cat on this blog - well, he just makes me irrationally happy. I don't know why. Maybe because I can play with him and pet him and he purrs and is all cute, but I DON'T have to scoop his poo out of a litter box... Yeah, that's probably it.
Good sheets. I have exactly one set of nice sheets. My other sets are cheap. Because I have this one nice set and a bunch of other cheap sets, when the nice set is on our bed I really notice and appreciate the nice set. I get into bed and purr like my virtual blog cat. It reminds me that you'll never fully appreciate the top of the mountain if you've never been slogging through the swamp to get there.
The hub's sleeping pills. Altruistically, I will say I'm happy because they make him able to sleep better. Selfishly (and probably more honestly), I really like talking to him when he's doped up. He's funny and really super sweet. And funny. Did I mention funny?
Chocolate Almond Toffees from L.L. Bean. The hub's aunt sent us some for Christmas. I seriously doubt any of them will survive til the actual holiday (hopefully the same won't be true of my dental work...) Holy McJeebus on a bicycle they are yummy!
The remote start on my car. It turns on the heat, defrosts the windows AND turns on the seat heaters. On cold winter mornings, there's nothing worse than a cold butt - and nothing better than a warm one! The only way I could love it more is if it made me hot chocolate too.
My dog likes Cheerios. So all those Cheerios Josie drops/throws/spits on the floor as she learns to feed herself - I don't have to clean them up! I think this habit my dog's developed of hanging out under the highchair is going to be a very useful one for me.
Josie claps when I walk into a room, even if I've only been gone for 30 seconds. She also claps for the Baby Einstein video and the dog and the server when we go out to eat, but it still makes me feel special.
It's completely pointless, but the little virtual cat on this blog - well, he just makes me irrationally happy. I don't know why. Maybe because I can play with him and pet him and he purrs and is all cute, but I DON'T have to scoop his poo out of a litter box... Yeah, that's probably it.
Good sheets. I have exactly one set of nice sheets. My other sets are cheap. Because I have this one nice set and a bunch of other cheap sets, when the nice set is on our bed I really notice and appreciate the nice set. I get into bed and purr like my virtual blog cat. It reminds me that you'll never fully appreciate the top of the mountain if you've never been slogging through the swamp to get there.
The hub's sleeping pills. Altruistically, I will say I'm happy because they make him able to sleep better. Selfishly (and probably more honestly), I really like talking to him when he's doped up. He's funny and really super sweet. And funny. Did I mention funny?
Chocolate Almond Toffees from L.L. Bean. The hub's aunt sent us some for Christmas. I seriously doubt any of them will survive til the actual holiday (hopefully the same won't be true of my dental work...) Holy McJeebus on a bicycle they are yummy!
The remote start on my car. It turns on the heat, defrosts the windows AND turns on the seat heaters. On cold winter mornings, there's nothing worse than a cold butt - and nothing better than a warm one! The only way I could love it more is if it made me hot chocolate too.
My dog likes Cheerios. So all those Cheerios Josie drops/throws/spits on the floor as she learns to feed herself - I don't have to clean them up! I think this habit my dog's developed of hanging out under the highchair is going to be a very useful one for me.
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