Fakers

I hate it when someone pretends to "commiserate" with you by telling you how great they have it in a backhanded way.

Example (admittedly exaggerated and sarcastic, but still): "You have no legs? Oh, that's terrible! BUT it's even worse to have such strong, beautiful legs like MINE. Let me tell you! It's SUCH a burden to be able to walk and run and ride a bike and do squat thrusts. Ugh! Legs are SO overrated, especially PERFECT legs like mine!"

I hate it when people dis themselves just to hear other people tell them how wrong they are.

Example: "That" skinny girl (we all know one) who constantly complains about how grossly fat and disgusting she is. "Oh, my THUNDER thighs! My cottage cheese butt!" So all her friends chime in with, "O Em Gee, you are SOOO skinny! You're like Kate Moss skinny! Anorexic skinny! You disappear when you turn sideways!" And then, if said friend is also one of "those" skinny girls, "Look at ME! I'm the one whose clothes have to be made by Omar the tent-maker!" The ego-petting/self-deprecating fakery can go on for EVER, back and forth, around and around in circles. O Emm Geeeee.

Then there's the backhanded compliment, which is really a nicey-nice way to say something really shitty.

Example: "It's a shame she's so overweight, because she has SUCH a pretty face!"

Or the belief some people seem to have that as long as they say something like "Bless his heart" prior to saying something really shitty like "He's dumb as a box of rocks!" it makes it no longer shitty...

I'm feeling negative today, can ya tell?

It's a beautiful fall day and (bless my heart), I'm in a pissy mood. Time to get over it.