Clingy McClingerson

The other day, I was reading while Josie played in the living room (aka toy pit/only completely childproofed room in the house). Next thing I know, I feel her pull herself up on my leg. I look down just as she hugs my leg and says, "Mama" in her sweet little voice. I swear, you'd have to be pure evil if that wouldn't just melt your heart like butter. I picked her up and cuddled her until she squirmed and gave me a glimpse of what the years to come will surely bring - a time when being cuddled by Mama isn't top of her list for ways to pass her time. Times when she's too busy, or too "grown up", or too busy hating my guts and slamming doors and breaking my heart.

Being Josie's number one absolute favorite person in the universe/BFF, as I can proudly claim to be these days, has its drawbacks, sure. It's really difficult to get much done with a Velcro almost-toddler attached to some part of you. The whining and clinging can be trying on the patience to say the least, and sometimes when she goes to bed I sigh with relief just to have my own personal space bubble back for a few hours. Even the people she loves the most other than me - her daddy and grandparents - aren't satisfactory substitutes if I'm around. It's hard. It's exhausting, actually, and some days I just don't feel up to it. Who knew being adored was so difficult??

On the other hand though, it's awesome. Her face absolutely lights up whenever she sees me, even if I've been gone 30 seconds. She does this adorable super-fast crawl across the room to reach me, then headbutts my calves by way of greeting before climbing up into my arms. Her little hands (she's still so little, even if she's growing up!) cling to my shirt and she buries her face in my neck and in those moments all is perfectly and totally right with the world. Even if sometimes I swear she only wanted to wipe her nose on me - I'll take it.

I'll take all of it. Someday she won't need me anymore - and I'll try to remember that all my hard work raising her is to get her to just that place of not needing me. Hopefully all that independence won't come too soon. And hopefully even if she doesn't need me anymore, she'll still want old Mom around.